February is the month of love. A time for romance, connection, and intimacy. But what if you’re just not in the mood for love?
On Valentine’s Day, instead of celebrating hearts filled with love, some of us are mourning hearts filled with loss, grief, anger, jealousy and even despair.
Know that my heart and love are with you. While I can’t take away the pain you’re feeling, homeopathy can provide much-needed emotional support to get you through this time when it seems that everyone in the world but you is celebrating love. These homeopathic medicines work just as well for you as for your teenage daughter who is struggling with the breakup of her first boyfriend, or your toddler who is mourning the loss of his mama after the birth of his younger sister, or your elementary school daughter who just “broke up” with her best friend.
There are many homeopathic medicines that can help you get over a broken heart. Here are the top 6 that I’ve used in my holistic pediatric practice. If any of these descriptions match what you or your children are going through, the general guideline is to take the medicine in the 30C dilution, 5 pellets once daily, until you are feeling significantly better. If you are new to homeopathy, check out my blog posts What is Homeopathy – Part 1 and What is Homeopathy – Part 2 or consult with a homeopathic physician near you.
And most importantly, know that you don’t have to go through this alone. Seek the help of your physician, pediatrician, therapist, minister, friend or whoever you find comfort in and can help guide you or your child through this difficult time.
Practice self-love and self-care – get at least 7 hours of sleep, eat a clean whole-foods diet, move your body, hug and kiss your children everyday, and most importantly – love the person you see in the mirror.
The Abandoned Heart – Pulsatilla
The heart of Pulsatilla feels that there is never enough love. There can never be enough hugs or kisses, not enough snuggles, never enough time together. Your worst fear is being abandoned by the person you love. You feel abandoned and cry every day, and you just want someone to put their arm around you, comfort you, and take care of you.
After your partner has left you, you just want to curl up in someone’s arms so they can console you and tell you everything will be ok. After baby brother is born, your normally sweet-tempered child becomes extra clingy, weepy, constantly needing your attention and comfort, and can get angry and jealous of the time you are spending away from her. Separation anxiety can become intense. Generally sweet and gentle, the heart that needs Pulsatilla can become jealous and irritable if it doesn’t get the comfort they crave.
The Unrequited Heart – Natrum muriaticum
The heart of Natrum muriaticum yearns for the love that they can never have. You may long for a past relationship that you feel was the true “love of your life”, or an unattainable love like a movie star. Your love is always unrequited. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence. You live in the past wishing for the boyfriend that you broke up with years ago, or live in the future dreaming of the perfect relationship that may never be. You cry in private, alone, not wanting anyone to comfort or console you – that only makes you feel worse. You have a tendency to be depressed and introverted. You are very artistic and refined and always look put together. If this is your daughter, even at 2 years of age, she carefully picked out the exact hair bow and accessories to match her perfectly chosen outfit. Your grief may show up physically, with a tendency toward headaches, eczema, acne, or cold sores.
The Grieving Heart – Ignatia
The heart of Ignatia is grieving and in emotional shock after the loss of a loved one. You may become hysterical at times, with changeable moods – sobbing one moment and laughing uncontrollably the next. You have waves of anxiety with palpitations and often feel that there is a lump in your throat. You sigh frequently and may feel as though it’s difficult to catch your breath. You are easily irritated and can lash out angrily. Everything bothers you now, especially odors – like the smell of your friend’s coffee even though your drinking your own coffee. Like Natrum muriaticum, you don’t like consolation and prefer to cry alone. You always feel worse talking about or thinking about your woes, but immediately feel better and forget about your grief if you can be distracted by a shopping trip, a mom’s night out, or something else you love to do.
The Jealous Heart – Lachesis
The heart of Lachesis is jealous. Your jealousy can drive you to lash out in anger verbally and physically. You are super talkative and sometimes it can be difficult to get a word in edge-wise. You are becoming quite suspicious. You can alternate between periods of euphoria, giddiness and almost feeling manic, talking a mile-a-minute to feeling totally depressed and wanting to be left totally alone. This is the #1 medicine for sibling rivalry and jealousy with regression and tantrums after the baby is born, where older brother or sister has moments of being giddy about being a big sibling to lashing out verbally and physically with frequent fits of temper tantrums (usually directed at mama).
The Indignant Heart – Staphisagria
The heart of Staphisagria has to suppress its anger and indignation after being humiliated. You may have been cheated on, or physically or verbally abused, or even raped, and you feel totally humiliated and want to hide from it. You are generally gentle and kind, but either have no outlet for your anger or feel that you need to stifle your emotions, which can cause you to have occasional explosive angry outbursts. Your suppressed indignation can often manifest as physical symptoms such as styes, itchy skin, and urinary tract infections.
The Despairing Heart – Aurum muriaticum
The heart of Aurum is in deep despair from disappointed love and grief. You may seek prayer and meditation to relieve your pain. You can alternate between exuberance and almost manic happiness to deep dark depression and isolation to sudden rages and explosive anger. In the depths of your despair, you may even consider harm to yourself. Please – if your heart feels like Aurum muriaticum – reach out, seek help, do NOT do this alone. You have more love than you realize.
In this month of love, even as you grieve, look around and know that LOVE IS EVERYWHERE! These homeopathic medicines can help you to be able to see that. Love can come in the most unexpected forms – a kind word, a sweet smile, a grateful look. Be open to love and love will come. Teach your children to FIND LOVE EVERYWHERE. Know that no matter what you’re going through, you deserve to love and be loved.
xo Holistic mama doc – Elisa Song, MD
P.S. If you know anyone who has a broken heart, please share this post with them so they too can know that there are possibilities to help them recover faster.